Tuesday, October 14, 2014

An Eventful Weekend

One of the hardest things about any lifestyle change is sticking to it when your routine is broken.  As tough as it is to eat right and exercise on a normal weekend, it is much harder to do so when you're traveling or attending big events.  

I got through my trip to the water park without getting too far off of the path.  I managed to to face the temptations of the trip, track what I ate, and keep it from getting too bad.  The weekend didn't end there though.   

I had to put on my suit (yes, it is a very large suit), and go to a wedding on Sunday afternoon.  I hate wearing dress clothes because I feel enormous.  Everything is constrictive and uncomfortable.  Don't get me wrong, I don't like dressing like a slob.  Yes, it's more convenient and more comfortable but that's not the only thing.  I just feel like wearing a (very large) suit and tie just draws attention to my body.  That's never a good thing.  

So, I was very uneasy about the way I was dressed.  That being said, I should also point out that this was the wedding of one of my very closest friends and most of my favorite people in the world were there.  I was not lacking for great conversation or warm, fuzzy feelings.  It was a happy and enjoyable evening.  It was also a sad reminder of my biggest problem...

Now, it's hard to count calories at a wedding or any other party.  That's not an excuse.  I diligently counted everything I ate to the best of my ability.  I went through the buffet line and got a small amount of food.  I logged my calories into my fitness pal and everything was fine.  

The problem isn't that I went back later for seconds, even though I shouldn't have.  I hadn't eaten that much and I still had a little wiggle room under my Basal Metabolic Rate.  The buffet was out of sight of the dining area.  I walked over to it when no one was watching and got a little more food.  I want to emphasize that it was only a tiny bit more food on top of my already small dinner.  It was certainly not worth feeling any real guilt over.

But then, I sat in the lounge area, away from all the other guests, and ate my second helping in secret.  I didn't even think about what I was doing until the last bite was gone.  

Again, I know what I need to eat (or not eat) in a given day.  Even with the second trip to the buffet table, I hadn't eaten too much.  Nonetheless, I didn't want to be seen eating a second serving.  I made an almost unconscious decision to eat quickly and out of sight.  This wasn't an event full of strangers or casual acquaintances.  I was surrounded by people who love me and care about me.  Why did I feel the compulsion to hide what I was eating?

This is what I am trying to change more than anything.  This is where most of the guilt comes from.  

That being said, it could have been worse.  I didn't even eat a piece of cheesecake.  I made it through the long weekend, and my first week, without a lot of food issues.  

Oh, and the bride looked beautiful, and the wedding was lovely, and I wish them all the happiness in the world, and blah, blah, blah.  

* * *

Last week, I averaged 2400 calories per day, just 658 total calories over my goal for the whole week.  I also lost 7.8 pounds.  

1 comment:

  1. Bravo! That is a great start!
    You know what though- you noticed that you had the second helping in secret. You are more aware than you were a week ago and often times that is the biggest struggle. I am so happy for you!

    God Bless